I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
