we're blogging at a bar
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
