i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize