He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
