My room smells like vodka and shame
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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