Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
