I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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