What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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