i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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