Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
