we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
