Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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