Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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