no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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