spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
