physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
