Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
