At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
