I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
