Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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