? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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