My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
