sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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