i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
