is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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