I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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