im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize