So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize