Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
