I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
