How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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