she was so not down for the gang bang
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
