Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
