So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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