i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
