i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
