If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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