awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
