Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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