You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
