when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
