After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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