if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
drinking out of a sandbucket again
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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