gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
