they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My ATM looks so different sober.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
