how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
And then my night got REAL pukey
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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