my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
