You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
