he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Come see our sink grown plant.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize