just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
