yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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