Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Even my vagina gasped.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
