I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Randomize