He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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