You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
When are your genitals available?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
