i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think a kid would responsible me up
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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