The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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