Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
