Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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