none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
