just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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