don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
