wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Randomize
