Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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