I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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