My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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