Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
