Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize