you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
