I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
