I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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